Virgilia's Daycare Service
by PINKMOEFLOWERS
Summary: Virgilia is asked to take care of a bunch of Umineko characters. But when they pile up, the stress gets to her, and she does need someone to help. Ronove, please? /crack. most likely ooc. ronovexvirgilia other pairings. language.


Wow my first Umi story.

Okay, so crack-drabble-fic-from-Saku.

THis is a sort of crossover with a bunch of random Umineko characters, implied BeatoxBattler, AngexAmakusa, BernkastelxLambdadelta, WrightxLeon, etc. IT INCLUDES EP7 CHARACTERS.

Mainly RonovexVirgilia at the end.

At first htis was a one-shot me and Mellie427 were wroking on, but then I was like...eeee this story is going to turn all worse, and your too innocent for it.

Umi doesn't belong to me. You can tell by my writing. C:

* * *

Virgilia sighed as she watched the two bicker.

_"Can you watch them while we go out?" Beato asked. Virgilia stared at the two young men wrestling each other and then back at Beato and Ange. What did she look like? Like she ran a daycare?_

_"What's the benefit?"_

_"We'll take a picture of Ronove in his boxers or underwear~~~~" Beato said._ Ange nodded, smiling wryly. There must have been something on her face, or else the two wouldn't erupt into laughter. She sighed.

_"FINE." Virgilia said and turned away. Beato gave a 'YES!' and clasped her hands together._

_Before they left, they both picked their men off the other and looked at them seriously._

_"Don't." Ange started, glaring at Amakusa, who flashed a grin._

_"Do." Beato said, trying to imitate Ange's serious look. Battler sweat dropped._

_"Anything. Stupid." The two finished off, then dropped them._

_"W-Wait!" Battler shouted. He glared at Amakusa and then looked back to Beato. "You can't leave me with…this guy!"_

_"Says the goody-goody."_

_"Says the pervy, dirty, weird, pedo, man!"_

_"Says the guy with the horrible comebacks."_

_The door slammed. The two stopped bickering and looked at the ominous door floating in the air, the one their girlfriends stepped into. Then the two began their bickering again._

"LIIIIAAAAA!" Came Virgilia's most hated nickname, and the woman that annoyed her to pieces. In her mind, the elder cursed her name by repeating it over and over and over again.

Gaap smiled and Virgilia noticed she was in a different outfit; Black short skirt, black short sleeve-skirt, black leggings, black high-heels, black nail polish on her finger and toenails, then gold bracelets, necklaces, earrings, and all kinds of jewelry Gaap could fit on herself, and her hair was ironed straight, with a huge black bow adorning her hair. Virgilia thought she looked disgusting.

"Nice attire, Gaap." Virgilia tried to say calmly. Gaap's face brightened with praise.

"Thanks~! I'm going to see what fish I can catch today~ You see, the fashion changed from preppy cheerleader to goth in five minutes, and I don't want to be left behind." Gaap said. She talked about fashion as if it were her life.

"Children wear this…garbage…nowadays?" She asked Gaap.

"Yes, _mom_. Why don't you try it?" She stuck her tongue out. "Annnnnywaaaaaaaaaaay, will you watch someone for me?"

"No." Virgilia stated plainly. Gaap pouted at her. Virgilia stared at her seriously for a minute, and then sighed. "Fine. Fine! Who is it?"

"Well, it's the—"

"Zeppar!" As said, the red-haired demon appeared. S/He held his hands out, gesturing for his partner to appear.

"Furfur~!" The blue-haired demon appeared, holding her/his arms out to parallel Zeppar's.

"Here in the name of love~!" They both said, at the same time and winked at Virgilia, blowing a kiss to her. Virgilia shuddered.

"God kill me now…" Virgilia muttered under her breath. Gaap giggled and hugged Virgilia and then waved.

"Thanks, Lia~!" Gaap said and disappeared. Virgilia gathered what left of her nerve before facing the two…how would she say it? Love-obsessed…twins?

"Hello, Zeppar. Furfur. Please, how may I help you?" Virgilia asked.

The two took each other's hand and sat down in a loveseat that suddenly appeared behind them, across from Virgilia.

"We heard, that—"Zeppar started.

"—Master Gaap was going on a date!" Furfur finished. "And she said we couldn't follow her!" Furfur added and pouted.

"Well of course." Virgilia explained, in a gentle way as if she were talking to three year-olds. "Gaap wants some privacy when on her date. It's just the way teens are."

"But, we need to be there!" Chimed the twins.

"I'm pretty sure you don't need to marry them off when she's barely gotten to known the man…or woman…" Virgilia said awkwardly.

"Oh how love blossoms~~~" Furfur said and a light blush appeared on her face.

"Virgilia." "Miss Virgilia." Came from the voices of the two owners. Virgilia nearly glared at them, but put her best attempt at a smile.

"Y-Yes?" She asked them, trying not to sound harsh.

"Please take care of this child." Wright said, a hole appeared on his left and he dragged Leon Ushiromiya by the collar out of it.

"I suppose you wouldn't mind if you look after her…?" Bernkastel said, snapping her fingers and Lambdadelta suddenly appeared before her.

"Huh?" Lambdadelta said, looking around and confused by what was going on.

Virgilia could not refuse from the Great Witch of Miracles, but she certainly couldn't reject Leon either, that connected to Beatrice…and…it got all complicated. Virgilia nodded.

"S-Sure…" She said quietly. Leon and Lambdadelta started complaining to their respective lovers/friends about how unfair it was for them to go somewhere without them. Wright glanced at Bernkastel, she did the same. The two nodded and walked away, their figures disappearing. Leon fell on his/her knees, looking distraught and a deep frown on her/his face. Lambdadelta started to sob, and started whining about how unfair her life was. Virgilia just added that to:

"AMAKUSA GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!"

"LOOOOVE~~~!"

She hated her life.

"Virgilia?" Came a dainty voice. Virgilia looked behind her, to see Claire Vaux; the dainty girl smiled a shy smile then frowned. "Can you please look after these seven…?"

SEVEN! Virgilia soon saw the seven sisters of purgatory appear out of nowhere all bickering. Virgilia wanted to scream her head off and shout at Claire for being a bi—actually, at this point, Virgilia wanted to do so many things. However, that innocent face took the better of Virgilia and she couldn't resist. She reluctantly nodded.

"Thank you so much~!" Claire said and smiled a genuine (Virgilia couldn't tell if she saw relief in them either, she must have been paranoid) smile. Claire disappeared, leaving Virgilia with twelve little brats.

A chair appeared under Virgilia just as she fell to it, her hands slid to her face and she groaned.

All of the people were bickering and fighting, how was she supposed to calm them down?

Amakusa was sitting on Battler, nearly breaking his spine, Zeppar and Furfur were raving about love, Leon sat silently on the ground, looking traumatized, Lambdadelta wailed like a newborn baby, and then the seven sisters went on their usually bickering. She felt like her ears were going to break.

Though all the noise made her hearing and sense dull, because she didn't see Ronove appear behind her, about to open his mouth to say something, but then looked at the scene around him. With all the chaos, he figured Virgilia was supposed to take care of them. Virgilia started crying, it was so useless, and she didn't even want to try.

Ronove was about to ask her what she wanted, but then again, it was so obvious she liked him (at least to him) that if he talked to her, it would worsen her mental condition. Instead, he cleared his throat, and slipped the glove up his wrist.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" He screamed. At his voice, everyone's dialogue suddenly stopped, and Leon's attention turned to Ronove. Amakusa muttered a quick "whoa…" in shock of Ronove. Virgilia looked up from her hands at him with a confused look. He gave her a small smile and then turned to all of the daycare patients. "Listen up, this lovely woman." For saying those last two words, Ronove gained a light pink blush from her. "Is going to take care of you, you might as well give her some quiet."

"W-Why…! It's not li-like w-we…wanted to be he-here in the f-first place!" Lambdadelta complained. Ronove nodded.

"Then why don't you go crawl into a hole and die?" He asked her, shooting a deadly glare at her. She shut her mouth and frowned back at him. "Now, for Amakusa and Battler," Battler and Amakusa looked up at Ronove. "Go find a computer and write embarrassing crap about each other on your facebooks or myspaces. Zeppar and Furfur," The twins looked up at him attentively. A laptop appeared in their laps. "You go on an online forum about love. Leon," Leon, with that traumatized look plastered on his/her face, looked up at Ronove. He threw a cell phone at Leon. "Here's a cell phone, you can call/text Wright with it. Lambdadelta," Lambdadelta looked up at him. "Go look on the internet for some porn and paste Bernkastel's face on it. And the Seven Sisters...…" They all stared at him. He grinned. "I have a new job for you."

Everyone nodded and soon, quietly got to their tasks that Ronove suggested. Virgilia's tears stopped by then, but the tracks were still there. Ronove walked over to her and smiled. She at first gawked at him, but then regained her composure and blushed.

"Ha—I—I…..t-thanks…" Virgilia stuttered. Ronove smiled.

"Anything for you, Miss Virgilia." He said modestly. She blushed again and looked down.

"But…...why di—"

Ronove put his index finger to her lips and winked at her.

"You'll learn later."

"I…" Virgilia trailed off. He waved and walked away. The seven sisters of purgatory soon lined up before him and the whole scene played out well.

It was as if they had all been getting along in the first place.

"So…I can relax now….?" Virgilia asked herself. "No interruptions…?"

Virgilia felt a satisfied smile curve her lips upward.

* * *

Sorry guys. It's 1 AM and I barely know shit about EP6/7 charas. And I'm only pointing out the stereotypes for each character too.

well I hope you enjoyed, regardless.

Merry Good Night. XP


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